What I See

I see so many battles to fight, but only God can see how this war will be won… The battles that we have stepped into to build The Kingdom here on the streets of Calcutta have brought us to the forefront of what darkness truly looks like, and how the light is only seen through Jesus’ eyes:

I see Jesus in the nuns in training (NITS as we have named them) we live with who work tirelessly putting great love into the small acts of service they do for us even when they get yelled at by the Priests. I am so saddened by the Priests here who are blind and leading others in blindness. I pray for only the simple gospel of Jesus to be over them, and that the way our team loves each other can be an example of how the body of Christ needs to be.

I see Jesus in the man and woman on the bridge we walk past every day on the way to the train station. They were intertwined together asleep this morning, giving any comfort they could to each other as people stepped over them and the rain poured down. The man’s hollow eye sockets, and the woman’s curses she yelled at me yesterday when I walked past when she tried to stab me with a brick still haunt me. I pray protection over our team as we travel all the streets here, and I pray that with each time we pass them our prayers and smiles show love.

I see Jesus in the 30 or so school children we teach English to in the mornings with the two classes we are involved with. The Holy Spirit is on these children like I have never seen before, and I have learned so much from Sara’s heart for spirit-filled children and their pure faith. They are excited to learn, and since the school is a Good Shepard Ministry school, they teach from a Christian world-view and each child is given equal opportunity regardless of caste. This school has grown so popular because the students get such a good education, that many Hindu families send their children there. These children receive the love and salvation of Christ from their teachers and then take it home and more often than not the families are saved. I Pray for these teachers that give up everything to teach in this 10′X10′ room in the slums.

I see Jesus in the people we pray for each afternoon. Ryan and I prayed with a family whose disabled daughter was told she would never walk or talk. This child’s first words were “Joy Jisu” (a blessing that Jesus brings Joy which believers here say), and she slowly walked around. She almost looked through me and gave me a blessing, kissing each cheek. She was 3. With each home we go into, we hear testimony after testimony of God healing people. I am so humbled to pray with these persecuted people who number only about one hundred in the slum. They are so passionate about reaching out to grow the kingdom, which is the greatest difference between believers here and in Kenya last summer. The team is so drawn to the strength of the persecuted church. Sara and I yesterday prayed in the attic of a house with a dying man, and his church family wept at the prospect of loosing such a humble man of God who had led so many to Christ. I could not feel any sadness because there was so much joy in me that people actually cared that this man may not be with them any more. In a dark place like Calcutta, it is not often that I see people care about loss of life. God’s beloved are dying all around us. We try not to step on them as we walk the streets, we try to pray at the train station platforms for the people that often get hit by trains and are carried past us in bags on poles, and Sara and I try to look each woman in the eye and smile because they are dying inside in this culture of so much oppression.

I see Jesus in the pastors here who work so hard to shepherd their flock. Ryan said something interesting that no matter where a pastor is, he is always working to show people the idols in their life and help them to see that Jesus is the only way past those idols. A huge difference between pastors in the US and here, is that in India pastors can actually touch and see people’s idols. Some homes we go to still have posters of gods and shelves of idols that they look to for comfort in addition to Jesus, in case He is not enough… I guess it is not any different than people who seek anything before trusting that all they need is Jesus. I cannot imagine pouring my life into these people to show them that they are set aside and loved by a holy God like these pastors do. They have taught me more about the Father’s heart for his lost children than anything else in my life. I pray that the families that have declared that all they need is Jesus, and share testimony after testimony that healing only came after they threw away their other idols, stopped taking medicines, and trusted alone in Jesus would be an example to those that mock them, and most of all an example to me.

I see Jesus in my teammates who challenge me to live more like Christ every day with the way they pursue a righteous life. I pray for more workers to be sent into this ripe harvest. Ben has really encouraged us all to become passionate about prayer, and so I also pray for more intercessors to be called to pray for Calcutta. I know that for myself this mission has produced some growing pains in how to BE a missionary, rather than how to DO missions. I feel so called to this place, and I can say even now I will never be the same.

I DO NOT see Jesus while smashed between 100 sweaty Indian men on a stopped train for 1/2 an hour on a hot and humid afternoon in the middle of the summer in India while wearing a full-length Salwar Kameez with the stupid scarf thing around my neck and beads of sweat dripping down my face and being pushed into the lap of another Indian man who yells at me.

Thank you all for your continued prayers and support.

-Christiana Hope Croll

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~ by Christiana on June 28, 2008.